A letter to my friend Krista at her baby shower:
I couldn’t have known
when I started my first stitch that this blanket would become a story. Of
course, in hindsight, I guess I should have known. With all things where love
is concerned we begin with an expectation and end with an experience. I found
the same holds true when you’re knitting your very first baby blanket. It began
with a vision and as I stitched, I prayed. I prayed for you, for Sprout, for
your journey as a Mom, and for all the things in between. It came with me in
the car, to restaurants, to ball games, and on vacation. It sat with me on the
couch as I poured hours upon hours into making absolutely perfect. And then I
made a mistake. So, I unraveled and re-stitched. Perfect once again. I added
yarn and hid the seams, I cut, knotted, tucked, tweaked and knitted until… I
realized a made a huge mistake and had to pull hours of work out and began
again. Finally, I was finished and as I made my final stitch I was so excited
to pull the needles and gaze upon my perfect creation.
It wasn’t perfect. It was too long and disproportionate – it
needed to be HALF the length it was. All along I had no way of knowing the
dimensions while the corded needles were binding it up. I was devastated. How could I
possibly give you something that wasn’t perfect? I could start over, I could
call in the knitting professionals, I could throw it away and buy a perfect
blanket. But instead, I cried. And then
I questioned my ability and contemplated whether I was cut out to be a knitter.
And then I got some encouragement and perspective. Perhaps if I folded the too
long creation it would be the exact right length. With some suggestions on
stitching and taking a little break I came back to finish my labor of love but
guess what? It’s not perfect and that is exactly what is perfect about it.
As a Mom, you will have
a vision, you’ll want to do everything perfectly. You will pray, you’ll
painstakingly labor over doing all the right things. You will get a lot of
things right and you’ll make mistakes and then you will fix them. You will teach, train,
guide, provide, and protect. And, a time will come when you’ll get frustrated
and question your ability but when it does, I’ll be there. I will offer
encouragement and perspective and even make some “stitching” suggestions.
Freud would have said, “sometimes a blanket is
just a blanket”, but to those that want to see something more, the story
unfolds.
You see, if you look
closely you’ll see the imperfections. You’ll note where the yarn broke, where
one section ends and the other begins. You’ll see where the yarn is stretched
thinner than the rest because of the pulling and re-stitching. You’ll see some
finger marks where it needed some extra finessing and a loose end here and
there. But if you close your eyes and take in all the love that is and will be wrapped up
in it, you'll open them you’ll see her beautiful eyes looking at you with all
the adoration she has and know that perfection isn’t the goal, love is.
XXOO
